i am in a dilemma right now. blame it on my good luck. god has been very kind towards me. being attached out camp for so long is really cool, but i start thinking of the rest of my colleagues who are covering my job scope when i wasn't around. they seem nice. they ain't complaining. i won't know. but, i feel really bad right now. after being attached out for lifeguard course for 2 weeks, i am again attached out another week for formation swimming training when my event is actually over. seriously, its just an excuse to escape from camp. i contemplate whether to choose work or swimming. if i choose work, i have to go back camp and get myself dirty again doing all the dirty jobs. if i choose swimming, i will enjoy, definitely, but i will end up feeling VERY bad as my colleagues will be doing additional work, THANKS to me.
and.. i was told i have to go waterpolo training starting from next tues , every tuesday and thursday till april. when april comes, i will then be attached out the whole month. after april, i will AGAIN be attached out for lifeguard duties from MAY- JUNE. after June, i will have so many off days to clear. erm. tell me. what kind of army life is this?!
ok, it is good life, i know. but the guilt is just there. i can't help but feel i am just being selfish. i can't be like some people who just care about their own welfare and ignore the fact others are suffering more because of them. there are people like these, but i am NOT one of them. i seriously need advice. my friend tell me to do what i think is right, but what is right?! argh. i wanna go back, but on the other hand, i wanna go for swimming training.
i chose swimming in the end. i know my colleagues will be cursing me. i hate making choices. i feel so..
