.nocturnalge.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

washing up.

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9:50 PM

interestinggg

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9:48 PM

s21/ sweet =)

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9:48 PM

miss s21. the first to turn 22.

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9:47 PM

hot and oily

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9:44 PM

wohoo.

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9:44 PM

s21 reunion 2006

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9:43 PM

first muay thai/first gourmet

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9:31 PM

.reunion.

it's heartwarming to see the 4 of us having dinner together during chinese new year's eve.

i hope this will never change. (=

and I am extremely curious WHY during the eve of chinese new year, there would be a LONG queue forming at petrol kiosks' car washing bays EVERY SINGLE YEAR. I mean... whats the significance?

I asked myself last year when I was trapped in the traffic due to all these "supertitious" motorists forming queues along the road.

erm.. can anybody enlighten me?

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8:39 PM

Friday, January 27, 2006

.in a daze.

once again, i am sitting here trying to blog.

i closed my eyes, and i nearly dozed off. i love the song i am listening to right now. While listening, i drifted away for a while...

i guess i am just tired. Trying to put up a brave front, taking up many jobs to keep myself occupied, and facing many problems i am having myself. i know i need no break. i have what i want right now. space.
however, there is just some hidden element that, i feel, is going to strike anytime. i just need to be warned.

so listless. so confused. in a daze. i can't seem to focus these days, ever since school term started. i thought i would be able to keep my momentum going. i thought i would be a happier person this term. i thought 2006 would be a better year. i thought i could finally.....

i thought.

plain nonsense.

i dón't feel things are going on smoothly for me.

i just wanna stay home. i need a good sleep.

i have many goals, but nothing is fulfilled yet. it's not even close.

i have so many thoughts, so many dreams. i just can't bring myself to mention more.

good night.

Don't worry. I am not giving up. (:

** Z, P and F, I apologise for the last minute decision to stay at home and zz. I am really tired. really.

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11:36 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

.what a relief.

projects are driving me nuts.

imagine going home after midnight on 2 consecutive days , and HAVING to wake up at 6am the very next day for presentation. grr.

thanks god its over.

quite satisfied as i feel our group did pretty well. 7 cheers to LAW WATCH. AH AH.
=)

i realised i have been lagging really lots. I need to be more focused and start to read up on all my modules.

B told me I am quite abrasive at times. erhm. bad huh.

Whatever it is, i guess.. school isnt that dreadful thanks to these irritating pals of mine.

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10:21 PM

Saturday, January 21, 2006

.way too busy.

after a considerable long 1.5 months break, I am finally starting to feel the stress again. Ever since last week, I decided to 'give up' my kinda carefree life ( free on weekday nights and weekends ) and started calling up my students for tuition again, take up more coaching classes and to attend frisbee training faithfully. Not to forget, my projects are all piling up and I have deadlines to meet for certain major projects I am working on with other people right now. Needless to say, free time for me is scarce now. I don't even have time for my favourite 9pm show starring all the pretty babes!

Is this the best way? Keeping myself busy and not thinking about other matters? Would it be like that if things turned out differently? I guess it would, and for now, i see more pros to cons. =)

BBQ yesterday with S21 @ my house was kinda great. C's superb planning and efforts made by those who bothered to come down. *clap* More of these to come yea? The only complaint was... I missed SMU Grand Opening. I hoped I didn't miss out much. :P

To conclude, last week was really well spent. I love the foolsball, kiliney kopitiam, muay thai, frisbee training, gym trainings, and city hall?

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6:07 PM

Thursday, January 19, 2006

history..

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12:34 PM

i don't know whats going on

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12:32 PM

happy school

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12:31 PM

pink?

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12:31 PM

Monday, January 16, 2006

.closure.

NOT a closure to my blog, but yeah, over a certain matter that happened for the past 1 week.

I am glad everything is fine now. What I have been through for the past 1 week has been an experience. At least now I know not everything is as simple as what it seems. NOT that I am naive, but yeah, things are just MORE complex sometimes.

No hard feelings anymore, because there is not a need to do so at all. I wanna thank those who came forward to show your genuine concern. I sincerely appreciate that, seriously. Somehow, on a positive note, its a blessing in disguise isn't it? Because I realise how fortunate I am to have different friends giving me their useful advices almost every day, listening to my rants till late @ night @ HV, and all the lovely smses to ask whether I am ok. I no longer felt indignant or whatsoever. I just feel.... extremely relieved.

I took up many commitments again. Muay Thai lessons, Coaching , Tuition, Overseas Comm Service, organising camps , and many more. ( I really find myself having no time for Salsa. Sorry J&B! )

I hope I can cope, but yeah, i love having a busy life.

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12:48 PM

Friday, January 13, 2006

.not worth pursuing.

some things are just not worth pursuing, really.

when it's time to let go, let it go.

i am not one who really harp over matters that had happened.

everybody makes mistake, and yes, learn from mistakes and you are a winner.

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2:32 AM

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

.thoughts.

staring out of my window, i closed my eyes while feeling the wind. My mind drifted once again.

How i hope everything can be so simple and uncomplicated.

But too bad, some matters just don't seem to turn out the way I want it to be.

You fell into a pithole. Try getting out of it? Inevitably, you end up getting hurt. Just count yourself lucky that you didn't fall too deep in? because.. by then, it would get more tricky trying to get out of it.

I am tired.

I need sleep.

really.

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2:28 AM

Monday, January 09, 2006

.last night.

it lasted for just 3 hours.

we were so close to getting there, but i guess the time is so wrong. i am sure time will tell, but if nothing works out..

whatever

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2:39 AM

Saturday, January 07, 2006

.attempt.

successful attempt or failed attempt. at least you tried.

successful = happiness? failed = disappointment? not necessarily.. but definitely you feel more , err, relieved ?

i just hope everything will work out well. really.

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4:15 PM

Friday, January 06, 2006

jj's wedding.. erm i mean 21st (:

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7:10 PM

random (:

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7:09 PM

why do i keep doing the kissing thing

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7:06 PM

buddies (:

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7:06 PM

mossss

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7:05 PM

we are all damn high

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7:04 PM

so happy

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7:03 PM

more mos photos (:

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7:01 PM

.a week in school.

in just a blink of eye *tink*, one week has passed once again. from chim biz law to confusing AS to scary BGS and lastly...to crappy MA. haha.

friends told me i can still relax since its only the first week of school, but i don't think so! can't seem to cope really well because of distractions. :P i so need to concentrate and set my priorities right! ha.

i have been sick since christmas eve. i wonder why my illness is taking so long to recover. i am worried i might have weak immunity or something... and it must be because i am having some terminal disease. erhm, if i can't stop coughing by this sunday, i shall go see a doctor.

i love school! forming project groups with familiar faces knowing they aint screwed up is a relief. i don't wish last term's nightmare to re-occur.

and if you tell me to relax, think again, i have a presentation on the 3rd week, and just had my very first biz law meeting today. tell me how? haha. for those NUS slackers who asked me out, i apologise because i am not as free as you people. LOLOLOL!

friday is good. lack of sleep, drag myself to MA lessons, had biz law meeting, rot in school, came home and gym for 1 hour, swim 20 laps , went sauna to sleep , msn, and... attending a party later.

but Saturday? I tell myself I am gonna spend it at home because I have plenty of readings to finish up, and i just can't afford to slack. yea. sad. (:

sweet sweet sweet ! ! !

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6:31 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

.happiness.

happiness is when you smile to yourself, jump around and get so excited over happy stuff.

i am happy (:

and i can't concentrate on my BGS readings!!

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1:58 PM

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

.friends?.

last night, one of my BMT mate whom i have lost contact since BMT days called me. In a desperate tone, he told me : " Gavin right?, I need to borrow some money from you. My dad suffered a stroke and i am really desperate. I need to raise $7K ... and i need your help. " I was stunned for a moment because its the first time somebody actually called me up to borrow such a HUGE sum of $$ ( $2000 ).. and he is somebody whom I rarely communicate with during my BMY days and have never gone out with him after that. Under such circumstances, would you have lend him the money? Think.

Obviously, I told him I couldnt help. He seem to anticipate that and asked if i know other people who could help him. Soon, we ended the conversation.

BUT... somehow, I started to ponder after that. I was affected by him definitely because he sounded really desperate and already in despair. If he had other choices, I am sure he wouldn't have stood so low to get my number from some other people just to ask me for money isn't it? And, if the operation is to delay any further, his dad's life will be at risk. I contemplated for long before I decided to ask my dad for his opinion....

To cut short, he called me again 4 times today and.. we decided to lend him a modest sum for him to tide over the crisis. erhm.

this makes me realise how weak friendships are actually. he told me he tried asking from his friends, but most of them hung up on him, or chose not to answer his call after saying : " i confirm first " . Are the friends you are currently having fun with so shallow? They have fun with you, laugh with you, study with you.. but when u have financial problems, everybody starts avoiding you? I guess, to a certain extent, this happens. I don't expect my friends to help me out financially too , BUT what if I am at my wit's end.. and they chose to abandon me?! sad. sad. sad.

i shed a tear today while watching the 9pm show - the scene when the dad turned soft-hearted after seeing the apology note from his son. I know its just a normal scene on any normal day, but... when things start getting emotional, i don't know why but i feel i have been a really unfilial son and i HAVE to change that. Never take things for granted. yea yea. *constantly reminding myself*

i hope i have more true friends around who would be around me when i really need help. sounds gay whatsoever, but.. i really yearn for that. As for my family, I know they will always be there for me whenever i need them.

i am elated at the moment. shall not tell you why! hehe. wohoo!

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10:13 PM

Monday, January 02, 2006

.new beginning.

changed my blog template. damn proud of it :P haha.

and....

i really wanna kick those people who hog on the right lane of the escalator. be considerate hello?! you ain't illiterate right? observe the signs around yoü. &@(*@&

school starting tomorrow. erhm. so uncertain. please don't give me a class full of guys. *beg beg beg*

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8:34 PM

Sunday, January 01, 2006

.happy 2006.

phew. i managed to upload all the photos on time. ( i dont wanna the photos to appear on the 2nd Jan entry ) i feel blessed to be able to spend my NYE again with my JC class. we had loads of fun @ coco latte ( sick of clubbing though ) like stripping D, viewing live RA performance, trigger happy, drinking chivas, smelling smoke and dirty dances. :) my day wouldn't be so eventful without you guys. you guys rox :)

Before that, i was supposed to have a dinner date with S&S, but i got played out last minute. *sad* Ended up @ sakae HMV with C&C and had a fun time exploring new menus and such. Our first dinner date together too. :> And i realise... the crowd @ orchard was unexpectedly quiet. i wonder where all the people were at. maybe Singaporeans have become more homely. erhmm.

today, i woke up @ 2pm after crazying the whole of last night. went swimming & had mahjong with C&C and my bro! no luck though. what a meaningful day spent @ home. *really dislike crowds*

yea. now its time for some reflections :P

2005 had been a meaningful one for me. the more memorable events were:- ( in no order of merit )

1. taking part and completing in my first biathlon.

2. ORD!

3. getting screwed all upside down by some useless Warrant officer. Till now, i still think that useless shit was in the wrong.. and i felt so wronged. fuck off.

4. signing up for the swimming coach course and passing it the first time! really honoured and proud of it because i heard the passing rate for my course was like... 3 out of 130? i don't know how true is it though. :P

5. being the waterpolo captain for my unit team. i aint good actually.

6. meeting NEW friends. TONS OF IT !

7. getting relatively good grades for my first term.

8. my students did well for their N levels! massive improvement!

9. i finally turn fair.

10. went for 2 holidays this yearrr..

11. my 21st birthday party. all the help i got from my beloved parents, my SA gang, and everybody else who helped.

12. ASOC day! and all the crushes i had.

13. my first graded presentation :P

14. i finally took bus again , and realised how i have been taking my life for granted.

15. fell terribly sick on christmas

16. my dad got me my fav number ending 1616 ! wohoo.

17. striking my ever first starter prize for 4D

18. tried facial for the first time. i think its dreadful because i just can't keep still lying down. so.... boring ?

19. had my VERY first road accident. at least i know how to deal with accident cases already.

20. many many many supper outings. i never like supper u know? ha.

21. got so dead drunk @ somebody else's bbday and made a great fool out of myself.

22. had a serious bad fall while playing with some wakeskate.

23. tried windsurfing for the first time!

24. great companies throughout the year :>

25. realised my legs are well-liked by women... and some men too. haha.

i better stop. just treat this as the top 25 most memorable events that happen to appear on my mind for the past 20 minutes yea? haha.

2005. gone just like that. and 2006's resolutions are...

1. Be a nicer son for goodness sake
- have been quarrelling with my parents over small matters, and not appreciative enough. haha.

2. Get good grades and have a active school life *obviously*

3. Be a good swimming coach. I wanna gain as much experience as possible!

4. Read more books, and brush up on my language skills.

5. Set more time for myself and family.

6. Great friends for keeps.

7. Be less hot-tempered.. and less autocratic? more understanding too :)

8. Drive carefully. Be a safe driver :)

9. Know your limits. No getting drunk again, i hope :)

10. Maintain my tan and fitness

K. Too many and I will end up meeting less.

Once again, Happy 2006 guys!

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11:59 PM