finally, i have changed the song in my blog. life has been monotonous these few days. I have attempted writing an entry for a few times, but got stuck whenever i am at this box i am typing right now. perhaps i didn't have the time to think of anything. perhaps i just cant be bothered. in camp, i am starting to work harder than before. realise the harder you work, the more you accomplish, the more satisfied you will be, even though there will be more sweat, more effort made. I wonder how some people can live doing zilch, always trying to hide at a corner just to escape work, escape "arrows". I mean, there won't be harm lending a hand to somebody who needs help. Remember my dad always say: " Its always better to get taken advantage of then to take advantage of people. " Its true. At least you won't feel guilty. At least you won't feel like a jerk. Instead, you feel better because you are doing more than the others. In the past, i simply cannot be bothered because I just cant accept the fact that after going so far, I am actually doing car servicing, greasing and all the dirty jobs nobody will wanna do. Its so degrading, so demoralising and soooo.. filthy. Hence I always make use of my attached out periods to escape all the dirty work, despite feeling all guilty that I left all my work to my colleagues. The guilt is still there, but I really appreciate the fact that they didn't really blame me for my long absence. If its for me, I never think i will ever be so magnanimous.
I sux as a person actually. I talk too much sometimes. I irritate people easily. I always regret what I do. I complain blardy a lot. I have nothing but flaws, flaws and flaws. and NO, i am not trying to get any assurances. really.
