many of my friends start asking me where the hell i have been, why i haven't been logging on to msn, why i haven't been blogging, why i seem to like disappear in thin air. and my reply is always :" i am too busy with my work". However, i, myself, is doubtful with my very own reply. I haven't been working OT. I haven't been going out lately. but still, i am busy.
life suxs. at work, my partner SUXS. i am so tired of facing these people who are just so hypocritical. who are SO NICE to me even though i fucking give them a fucked-up attitude. yes, i can be a bastard and still these people are nice to me , and i know WHY. i wonder how much bad stuff people are talking behind my back. being mr nice guy just isn't plausible in such situation. people take mr nice guy for granted. people think mr nice guy can be bullied easily. people just won't appreciate mr nice guy for being nice! yes, this is reality. i am so sick of people who always ask the same question. : " hey, later after work fetch me out k. i need to rush home " . HEY COME ON, who really cares whether you are rushing home?! and the worst thing is, i am that mr nice guy who can't bring myself to leave camp without these detestable people in my car.
my colleague suxs, not all, one in fact. he is a loser. a loser and a loser. i tried brushing him off so many times, but he is just one irritant who knows i am of some good USE to him, and tries so hard to be in my good books. Today, he asked: " hey, u seem very pissed with me? did i do anything wrong? is it because you can't stand slack people? hey, then i will be more hard-working , k? " WTF. i hate saying this, but just FUCK OFF and stop being so HYPOCRITICAL. WHATEVER, this is so meaningless. a blog entry shouldn't be so lengthy and detailed. life just suxs. i need true friends. serious. i am getting so skeptical right now that i can't really distinguish genuine and fake people. its hard to just ignore sometimes. but to those friends who constantly makes me laugh, makes me feel appreciated, makes me feel remembered, thank you. i will keep people like you in my life. :)
i am draining out of energy. all the tuition sessions, late gym sessions at 10pm, late nights, 11KM runs , my busy work schedules, hypocritical people, slack people and politics are so suffocating . i need to find space to breathe. My fitness seem to be dropping despite having constant gym sessions. My 11km run today SUXS. i was one of the last to come in this time. perhaps i am just too troubled, yet i am not one who really loves confiding in people.
