sometimes, i will just question myself why the hell am i working so hard for the ARMY recently. Who am i trying to prove? Why the sudden change of work attitude? Why do i tire myself almost everyday doing dirty jobs people DON'T WANNA do? Why help others when I don't see any appreciation? Why do so much when most people don't see what YOU are actually doing and thought you are SLACKING? I keep telling myself its for my personal pride, and helping others should always be a pleasure, and I shouldn't expect any appreciation from the others. BUT WHY, WHY the sudden change after my attaching out of waterpolo. I feel so responsible of so many stuff when i can actually get my hands off it. Like today, my department was shifting to a new office and i actually volunteer myself to create a plan for the new office, and got told off by my superior WHY THE HELL I ALTERED HIS INITIAL PLAN FOR THE OFFICE, and only manage to convince him to keep to my plan after much persuasion. I skipped lunch, went up and down, ran office to office, JUST to see everything is well-organised and was done according to my plan. and I am SO worried everything won't go right when i am attached out for lifeguard duties the whole of next week. Why do i feel I have to be responsible for so many stuff. Being hardworking in ARMY just doesn't pay off sometimes. The MORE u DO, the MORE people entrust YOU with stuff, the MORE extra stuff u are required to do! CALLS keep coming in like there's no tomorrow. I keep asking myself: " IS IT WORTH IT?! " sorry, but i am just venting out my frustrations. It doesn't help at all when my p3 tuition kid fucking irritate me after a day of hectic work just now. Blardy indolent, blardy stubborn, blardy defiant. I will continue working hard in army for the time being. Although it just suxs sometimes when people don't see the effort u put in, although I feel I am doing more than the others. although i feel my credit is always taken away by some scheming colleagues who never actually DO MUCH. although i don't feel appreciated at times... i will just do what should be done. At least time flies faster when u are BUSY.
