empty. forsaken. lonely. actually, all these are inevitable feelings everyone tends to feel sometimes. but i wonder why is it so strong these few days. life in camp is getting worse. lazy people. countless assignments. unlimited "arrows". training to be a hypocrite. ha.
ran my first competitive X-country today. so stressful. EVERYONE was practically sprinting the moment it was flagged off. I am amazed, how some people can run SO blardy fast. I did well for myself, ranked 99 out of 200+ contestants, and i know if i push myself just slightly more, i might just have a heart attack and collapse! thats why.. i am AMAZED.
thanks to army, i no longer fear competition that much anymore. In the past, I never have the courage of joining any competition, because i hate losing. Losing just suxs, but now i realise, as long as i complete the race, i am already a winner. Sometimes, Winning is not all about going up stage, but achieving something you have never achieved before.. I hate disappointing people, let alone my very own self.
i need some space, yet hate to be alone. I am contradicting. yes, i know i always do.
