Friday, May 19, 2006
.dilemma.
As usual, i have been rather busy this week. coaching, tuition, fundraisings, churning out proposals, workshops, gym trainings, gatherigs and misc, have kept me rather occupied. What's new man?
Last week, one of my friend somehow chided me for asking her out only when I feel like it. Honestly, I have been feeling rather guilty and I feel I could have made more effort in making time for my family & friends.
Frisbee BBQ on Vesak Day was a "ha-ha" event. More bonded? Felt closer? Erhm, I feel you need more than just a gathering to do so. However, throwing P in the pool was kinda shiok. At night, P and R, or rather, M ( if you get my joke ), stayed over and yea, it was fun with all the pillow fight and so. Again, the last time I had a pillow fight was during S's birthday @ Swissotel. *sigh*
People often say:" Hey, let meet up soon ok?? " However, how often does someone really take the initiative to organise the outing? Everybody is busy I guess, some are plain slacking.. I feel all these "let meet up soon" thing is absolutely nonsensical, and true friends will just go :" eh free now? lets meet now, or tomorrow. " Maybe I am talking nonsense, but the idea was there la.... For me, I try to refrain from making empty promises because I feel " Let's meet up soon " should be expressed sincerely and, of course, the other party must feel the same way too.
My weekends were basically spent coaching adorable & innocent kids. I love kids.
Monday -> Wednesday was spent attending a 3 Day Circles Facilitator Workshop organised by the school.. The workshop was pretty enriching and I seriously felt some new stuff I learnt are very applicable in real life. In just 3 days, I have learnt how important planning actually is, how one should be task-oriented, how the level of maturity affect the performance of the team etc etc. To sum it all up, the workshop has really thought me to be a better person, better coach and better leader. I am so thankful for having such opportunities to enrich myself... I just pray that the values I had learnt wouldnt go into waste after a while.
Planning a camp is really tiring and time-consuming. Hours coming out with proposals, concrete plans, plots and groupings just isn't easy. However, the satisfaction of seeing your plan work will soon come i hope.
I still have so many matters to settle...
Will be going Yunnan in 3 weeks time. I am still wondering whether I made the right choice. Will be submitting $800 to the committee this week, and the practical me was so heartbroken because I am not only losing $800 but the opportunity cost of my coaching allowance, tuition allowance and the joy from coaching my swimming kids. I wonder whether my kids will miss me. I wonder whether all these are worth it. Honestly, i would have dropped out if given a choice now... but with such tight timings... i dunno. Personally, I am still towards the "dropping out" line.... ARGH!
Can I?
Things are quite in a mess right now. I am not exactly talking much with my family, I have not done what I want to do, and my life is so darn uninteresting. I hope I could have done more. I wanna achieve so much more..
I am starting to worry about next term, whether taking 5 modules will kill me because of my busy schedule. I am so greedy that I wanna take up 2 more tuition kids and coach more students privately. I wanna make FULL use of my time, but I know, I will get drained sooner or later. Right now, I am contemplating whether I should go for swimming trainings, and try out canoe polo..... haha.
Erm... Don't worry.. I guess I know my limits..
And Elvin, cheer up :) I love dogs and I think I know how u feel....
Goodbye,
Gavin
floated away at
3:30 PM