Monday, July 30, 2007
.4 more days.
i wonder why, but i am feeling really uneasy and unsettled at work today. not sure whether it's because I will be leaving the place which I have been for the past 15 weeks in 4 days time. If that's really the case, I am not surprised. Not that my colleagues are exceptionally nice, not that the environment/welfare is even above average... it's just... i am naturally very very sentimental. My feelings tend to grow for something if I invest time in it, if I spend time with them... you know, ri jiu sheng qing? haha
but i also have a problem. i will be sad for a few days leaving a place ... but i tend to move on very very fast. i will lead a new life, and something new will soon substitute the sadness which I had earlier. Shit. that makes me rather unsentimental right?
See.. I am confused again.
But still, I perceive myself to be more sentimental than unsentimental. Usually, I can stay on something v v long, unless circumstances dont allow me too. Sometimes, I still think of the Yunnan Kids. I think of the friends whom I used to be very close to. I think of my aunty who passed away months ago. I think of many many memories. That's why I usually emo quite easily - because I am sentimental.
Yesterday I watched a play with C and my PCG friends. It's called " Love above all " and this verse struck me. " Human beings love out of emptiness, ready to be filled. " Unconditional love is amazing, but is there anybody out there who is able to do that? From the Bible, only God is able to. Some human claims to love someone unconditionally sometimes, but is that ever possible? I guess, it's hard loving somebody, and not wanting anything back. Actually, if one is able to do that, then there wouldn't be disappointment and sadness in life already. Really enjoyed the play. It was very meaningful and many of the scenes struck me how love can be so complex and sacrificial at times.
Still exploring and it's really a great process so far! Life has been good. Just pray that my last few days at internship will be good!
floated away at
10:24 PM